Being-Single-Why-Stigmatic, Being Single, Single
Being Single

Dear Reader 

"There is nothing wrong in staying single, wait till the time you come across somebody who forever makes you realize it is worth giving up your single status and if not then be the way you are."

Single, Being Single and Stigma

Our life always revolves around family, getting married and having kids. But there are times when it happens that few of us choose a different path "Being Single". This term is not easily accepted and has many concerns associated with it. This article is highlights the stigma associated with Being Single. Various aspects associated with Being Single like  - Choice or Circumstances, Single with a relationship history, Being Single and Parenthood, Being Single and Happiness and Cultural impact on Being Single have been taken up here.

In the end I have a personal message for all my "Single" readers.

Let's Begin...

Years back as a typical young girl during my adolescence I always imagined getting married and having a family an essential element of human life. "How can you survive alone? I mean Yes! You have to get married, it's mandatory, you don't choose Being Single."

I still get the flashback of typical thoughts about Being Single during those days...

"Not married? Whaaat? but Why?
"Don't want to be in a relationship? Oh! My God, But that's strange!
"But he is so good looking why he doesn't want to get married?
"Such a beautiful female doing so well in life...Why is she Single?"
"How can you think of living your whole life as a single, just not possible"

During those days I never thought of a day in my life where after so many years my friends, my cousins and my colleagues will share a never ending list of "Benefits of Being Single"as they choose to be one. 

Never imagined a facial expression full of happiness, contentment and confidence when making a statement "I choose to be Single". But during the past few years I have encountered so many faces with this unexpected expression. They have become so common these days.

Times Change and this change brings along the fearlessness to choose what is best for one's own self without any feelings of being squeezed between the demands and expectations of others.

Why not remain single what's the PROBLEM?

This question that remained unexplained for so many years now has an answer and Singles know how to narrate their response.

Single always doesn't mean ready to mingle.

Gone are the days when Single People were gazed upon as if they were some museum property and their features need to be explained for people to understand them better.

Being Single is not a Problem anymore as people have started identifying Opportunities in the same. These opportunities align well with their ultimate goals in life and assist them to achieve their eventual purposes underlying their existence.

Single by Choice OR Circumstances

"Single is no longer a lack of option - but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live everyday Happily and let your Ever After work itself out" -Mandy Hale

Yes! of course not every one chooses to be single there are a lot of people who are living a single life as their destiny.

Haven't you come across people who want to get married but something or the other went wrong every time they started their journey towards marriage OR how about those people who loose their life partners OR how about those who are in search of their life partners, choose a best match for them and things don't work out. 

I am sure you must have come across a lot of people from the above category. Think of all those who I haven't mentioned but still fit into this league.These are people who purposely didn't choose but were destined to remain single. But that under no condition means they need to be sympathized with, give them a regular treatment because just like all of us they are fighting with their destiny and are not ready to succumb under any pressure.

People who choose to remain single strongly express their choice for an individual and independent life where they will not tolerate any push to give up their choice. They know how to tackle with life and its attributes as a single.

But for people who live a single life because of circumstance peculiar to them face more challenges and have to put an extra effort to ward off pressures and all sort of tough situation created in their external environment.

Being face to face with reality will make it more easy for them. Finding a purpose in life and being occupied rather than thinking about being single will give them more contentment. Give sometime to your life to find the best for you and never lose hope. Do not get into a relationship for the sake of it or under any external pressure. Keep trying till you find the best for you.

You are not the one who chose to be single but your circumstances have lead you into a being single situation. So enjoy your single status till you don't find your best match. Don't end your voyage hopelessly you never know where you encounter the person you were looking for.

For all those who have taken up being single as a decision very well know their reasons but now being single they also have to make their life more meaningful. 

Strangely I have even come across few people who want to remain single after going through a bad experience vicariously where they have seen pathetic married relationships of others and finally choose to be single simply to avoid going through all those bad events personally.

No that's an incorrect thought. Choose to live a Single Life to experience something different which others don't choose to. Don't remain single to avoid any wrongs as that will sometime later in life make you regret being single. But if you choose to experience the assets of a Single Life you'll always appreciate Being Single.

So, Think of a clear purpose in life when you choose to remain single...Is it because you are trying to run away from something? Then give it a second thought.

Whatever the reason could be behind your Being Single one thing is assured it is never a Problem.

Today "A Single" With A Relationship History

I know people who were always not single they were into a Marital Bond earlier but for some reason like loss of life partner or separate from their partners they are today living a Being Single life...Happily! (to be precise).

When we refer to singles we mostly refer to people who never got married and chose to be single all their lives as a part of their entire life's decision. We forget people who fall into a league who are single today but were into a relationship previously. These are a mix where either they choose to be single or their circumstances lead them to the life of a single.

Being Single and Parenthood

There are again another set of people who are Single Parents. There life is slightly different from those singles who never got married and decide never to become parents.

These could be people who are not with their partners for some reason specific to them or more importantly people who were never into a marital bond, chose to be single but always wanted to have a kid.

You are singe without a partner doesn't mean you don't want to become a parent.

This reminds me of my close friend who clearly said I don't want to get married, I am happy as a Single But Yes! I want to be a Mom. I took a break to few seconds to rethink over what she mentioned as I knew the kind of family background she comes from and the societal pressures which she would never be able to throw back. But while was in my own thoughts she mentioned "I know it will never happen as nobody would participate in my decision of having a baby without marriage, not even adopting a child and I don't want to get married, also don't want to part away with my dear ones for the sake of fulfilling my desire of being a mother.

Thanks to surrogates and sperm donors who fulfill the parental desires of singles who prefer to stay away from relationship but still aspire to become parents. 

Most significant mention about all those singles who decide to adopt a child to meet their dreams of parenthood. A deed worth mentioning as you are giving that little one his or her real World - A Family, A Parent and Own House.

You only need to stand for yourself, have faith in your decision and have the strength to fulfill promises that you make to yourself. Don't worry, rest will fall in place.

She is still a Single (Happy One!) living with a blank space which can only be filled by her own motherhood.

How to be Happy as a Single

Let me tell this straight, If you have sincerely chosen to be a single, without any fear of relationship outcome and responsibilities, seriously trust and love your singleness then this question should never arise.

If this question comes to your mind rethink about your single hood as it has been enforced by your internal forces it was not a free will. This question means that in your heart and mind you trust happiness to be a resultant of a relationship. 

If you seriously want to be a single you will find your own happiness in your own way in your Being Single life. You know you have chosen to be a single so let your life flow in that direction and follow the path you chose for yourself, never try finding happiness forcefully it comes in due course of life as a result of your own thoughts, beliefs, honesty and deeds. 

Be a Single, Keep going, keep yourself busy as an individual and you'll keep on meeting happiness. 

The Cultural Effect

When are you going to get married?

This question seems to be a free will question that anybody from far or near, know or unknown would like to inquire from you if you have chosen to remain single.

Getting married is less of an individual decision and more a social obligation that one needs to fulfill on a mandatory basis.

Indian societies consider marriages as a feast and festival that involves society first and family later. Nothing against! but that is how Indian societies have build up their culture. Invitations are expected from and sent to people even if we have met them just once. Not a single person should be debarred from being invited.

Cultures where marital bonds become the bigger picture of the entire society have a specific stigma attached to Being Single. Here Being Single could mean anything ranging from being selfish to not being the right match for anyone.

Being Single a lot of times has a Halo Effect where your entire personality, traits, worthiness and loyalty comes under a skeptical zone and people start observing you through their own microscopes and come up with their own interpretations.

"Still a Single?"

"No plans to get married?"

Expected answers: "There must be something wrong with...", "I feel she/he is not the right match for anyone, may be that's why...?

In a condition where even parents approve the single status of their kids or leave the decision of getting married completely at the will of their kids...Christ save such parents as they are pinned to societal interrogations which they never expected.

Being Single is still strongly a stigmatic status is a culture where marriages are more a social concern and less of a personal or family concern.

Fear of stigma sometime forces people to get married or even get a married at a time where they were planning something more important or pursuing substantial goals in their lives.

But again for few people "What can be more important than getting married?"

To all my "Single" readers

" You are much busy, dynamic, goal oriented and specially if you are a woman trust me you look more attractive than a woman who looks for a man to approve her existence. Embrace yourself forever and you will never be alone"

Keertika Sharma - Personali Progressio

Keertika Sharma



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